Das Leben Ist Ein Kampf

Holy Crap;

I had a rough night last night. Couldn't sleep.

Visions of sugar plums and fairies dancing through my head.

Dance Dance Dance.

B-I-T-C-H-E-S.

Bitches.

Jesus Christ...

I'm reading this over and goddamn I'm a fucking faggot! First thing to do: stop using initials instead of names; thats just right-out gay.

Second thing to do: quit being so goddamn dramatic!! I'm not living a soap-opera no matter how much I want to be. My actions do *not* actually have that profound an effect on anything, and writing them out like I have been is just plain retarded.

Ok I'm glad I got that out of my system. Shaneena. Yeah, I think I sub-consciously *purposely* forgot about her for like.... three years. Then all of a sudden, I'm lying on the floor out here in Taipei, and *poof* - she's in my head again.

I have flashes of memory of ... stuff ... that passed between us. I hear her voice in my head; I don't think anyone has ever talked to me so dirtily and without shame.

On a side note, her accent was really cool. Since she was from Bombay, she had an Indian accent. But in Bombay, the primary language is English, and the native languages to the country are taught in school - much like French is taught here. So she spoke fluent English, but in this wierd Indian accent.

Anyways, I looked her up again because I was curious what had happened to her, and felt like ordering someone around a bit - but I couldn't email her because it said her email address didn't exist. So I tried to create an email address using her old email, but it said that it was in use. So I don't know whats going on here. *Shrug*.

A submissive girl. I wonder what it'd be like to have a submissive girlfriend. Shaneena and I only interacted over the phone - we never met in person. She lived in Bombay at first, and later moved to Seattle, but we still never met. (Which is most likely for the best).


You know what? Fie on girls!! I don't need them right now! Thinking about girls does me no good right now. I have to focus on Carolyn, and hope that this all pans out without a hitch.

We're (tentatively) planning on meeting for 2 weeks over the Christmas break at her home in Kuala Lampur. I came up with the idea and thought it was a good one, because; (a) I'd like to see her, (b) It'd be nice to meet her family, (c) I want to see a lot of Asia while I'm out here, (d) Its best to be away from Japan during Christmas (according to my 2 teacher-trainers from GEOS).

So all that added together makes it a great plan. She seems excited about it, and I think it'll be a good time; but ... step back objectively and look at it David.

Two weeks, after not seeing her for more than 6 months. Damn I hope its not uncomfortable.

I wonder how she feels for me.

I wonder how I'll feel for her.

I wonder if I could make her my submissive girlfriend.


.... Thinking is dangerous. I think I should stop wondering aloud.

Uhhhh.. how should I start.

There was a girl I once knew named Shaneena. (I think). We had a really funny-sort of relationship. I was the master and she was the slave. We were like ... 15 or 16. She sent me a postcard with a picture. I sent her a CD with erotic literature. We talked on the phone a lot. I gave her orders, and she called me "Master".

Moving to Japan made me think of that time. (Being horny a lot made me think of that time as well).

I completely forgot about her for about.... I dunno, 2+ years? Suddenly she popped up in my mind again. I think I'm going to do some research on this Dominance/Submissive thing and see what its all about. I'm interested in it.

I wonder what I'll learn about myself.

Taipei, and Taiwan is obsessed with

Image. Everyone values surface appearance over everything else. They've built a tower here called "Taipei 101" - supposedly the tallest tower in the world. Designers have a hey-day here. People's clothes generally consist only of name brands. Expensive name brands too. Anything with a name or slight popularity is hugely overpriced. Nike, Adidas, Diesel, (some brand I've never heard of called) Naturally JoJo to name a few, demand prices in excess of $200 (Canadian) for one article of clothing! The prices of Louis Vuitton purses and the like are well known; and they seem to be worn by everyone.

What the hell is wrong with these people? They'd rather spend a thousand dollars on clothes and image than their own houses. The apartments and living spaces here are despicable. Completely disgusting. I have pictures; I should post some.

I've never seen a society so obsessed with image and superficiality. Its what we have in the West, but multiplied to exaggerated proportions.

These people are crazy. *shrug*

I guess its good for Corporations. Those wonderful Corporations.

Ah well. What can you do? heh.